Within the last 3 months or so, I’ve gained at least 20 lbs. It could be a combination of my medical issues –  Hypothyroidism. My Hysterectomy  – Note to self: Make appointment to have levels checked since I’m on hormonal medication. My not eating healthy which includes my addiction to soda at times. Not exercising…

Previously to my taking note of my weight gain, I was already feeling down in the dumps as I have never been this overweight before. However, I’ve never been one to shy away from taking pictures and posting them (online), regardless as to what I’m wearing. When it comes to wearing certain clothing in public – now. Not happening! No sir reeeee!!!

I’d bought a pretty swimsuit at Wal-Mart awhile back. I wore it to take a picture in  and then only wore the top out. I have NEVER worn a bikini (the bottom) before (let alone in public) but I bought this particular swimsuit that has it. I kept telling myself that I was going to step out of my comfort zone (eventually) and wear it in public. That time came over the weekend when the hubster and I went down to the pool to swim.

I recently did a semi-chop to my hair, so excuse the wild hair look *smiling*. Hoping I can stay on this natural hair journey because relaxers seem to be killing my hair.

I was a bit nervous walking over to the pool, but once we arrived, I relaxed for a bit, took off my swimsuit cover and jumped in. Well I carefully entered the pool (I have a terrible fear of drowning) and enjoyed the evening. I even wanted to go back in (which I did) after multiple people arrived.

We can be our own worst critic when it comes to our bodies and in doing so, it can limit us in enjoying ourselves because we are constantly worried how others may perceive us. It was a freeing moment for me to step out of my comfort zone. Nobody seemed to care and even if someone did. So what?

My desire to be at 180 (anything below that makes me look as though I’m on drugs or something) is because I know how I feel at that weight. This extra weight on me is not good and I feel it every.single. time I attempt to be active. By the time I reach our door, I am huffing and puffing. And considering I’m already dealing with pre-hypertension, I’m not trying to go out like that. My father died at a young age from a heart attack.

I was going to the gym for a hot minute a few months back and in that first week of going, I managed to lose 3 pounds. I felt good while working out and after. The main reason why I stopped going was due to us having one vehicle. By the time the hubster would come home, I’d need to run errands or just needed to get out of the hotel for some fresh air.

I’m praying that I can get back on track with my health.